


Faint Haven

by HazyRiver



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:07:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29487237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazyRiver/pseuds/HazyRiver
Summary: This is translated by Google Translate.At first I wanted to translate it by myself,however the article is too long and I had to prepare for my college entrance examination.So.......
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)





	Faint Haven

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [混淆的天堂](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29486763) by [HazyRiver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazyRiver/pseuds/HazyRiver). 



> This is translated by Google Translate.At first I wanted to translate it by myself,however the article is too long and I had to prepare for my college entrance examination.So.......

This is an ordinary Christmas. Quiet and peaceful.  
Thanks to the weird business hours of Aziraphale, at the dim sunset, the surrounding bars and shops are already lit up, but the bookstore is still dim. The few lights can only illuminate the shop within a few steps. pavement. The glass of the shop is covered in a layer of water mist, as if the 19th century was abruptly inlaid into the feasting 21st century.  
The angel and the devil each curled up in their chairs, with the right amount of wine bottles stacked in front of them, chatting in front of the fire.  
The front door of the bookstore made a familiar sound, and someone pushed in.  
"We closed."  
"Uh... I know"  
The angels and demons are like ducks in St. James's Park where they saw the Russian brown bread. They once again proved the correctness of Paplov's experiment. They conditioned their heads up.  
"Adam? You should open the gift in front of the stove at home, not here."  
"I did open the door of the living room, but I was here when I walked in." The former Antichrist looked innocent, "I haven't eaten dinner yet."  
People's worries about lies are often not the lies themselves, just as they may be the ones who perform magic and miracles. No one can infer whether this reason is true or false, and the former demon and the former angel are helpless.  
"Well, I'll get you some cake, you will love it." Aziraphale turned into the kitchen area behind the bookshelf, Crowley sneaked into the bookshelf, and then it came out "You can't eat anymore." "Let Gabriel ridicule."  
It seems that they have no time to talk to me, and Adam wanders between the bookshelves for himself. The innumerable first edition books still exude hundreds of years of corroded dim luster and dim light...except for an almost brand new booklet.  
"What is this?" He casually pulled out a booklet under the "Bible of Sin". Compared with the naturally yellowed pages of the surrounding book, this slightly dusty booklet looked like a chicken that had just broken its shell.  
"Instruction manual for angels going down." Aziraphale responded behind the bookshelf.  
"It's the one that instructs Gabriel to preach the reading of pornography aloud? It's really professional." Crowley groaned, protruding his triangular black head from the bottom of the bookshelf, and wandering to Adam, obviously his The cake defense battle ended in failure. The snake that tempted Eve straightened up and became human, neatly dressed, without sunglasses, but with a red Christmas hat.  
Christmas hat? Adam rubbed his eyes.  
"Don't preface the words starting with p in the face of minors." Aziraphale turned out of the bookshelf, took the instruction manual from him, and handed over a plate of cherry cake and many sliced fruits. "This is a stress response to a novel ."

Since the short story "Hell Is Where God Is Not" was born, the world's enthusiasm for exploring hell in a short period of time has been completely replaced by sky light and angels. The light chaser surpasses the bird watcher and the whirlwind chaser has become a new wave of trends. At that time, the Internet was advancing hard and the cameras were blurry. Except for Kubrick's films, there seemed to be nothing beyond human curiosity.  
"To be honest, the last time I saw that scene was when Conan Doyle threw Holmes off a cliff." Crowley uncovered a dozen thick envelopes from nowhere. Based on the addresses of Norwood Town and Flagship Street above, it is not difficult to guess that the devil also added a lot of work to the postman of the year, and maybe even returned the "Rope Chain" issue and smashed Conan Doyle's window.  
With the influx of a large number of people into this bizarre cause, heaven’s physical processing system was overwhelmed; more importantly, heaven discovered hell and even began to abandon black attire in an attempt to discredit heaven’s reputation. The angels started induction training to prevent a long absence from the field or new substitutes from causing further damage to the perfect reputation of heaven that is difficult to maintain.  
The solidified egg white will not be afraid of another blow, but the intact egg cannot withstand any mistakes.  
"In order to increase the chance of appearing within the ray of light, the chaser must be as close to the latter as possible during the angel's stay in the mortal world, which means standing on the vent of the tornado, or On the cusp of the flood, or on the top of the terrible crack in the ground-the exact situation depends on which angel is below. The number of light chasers who died in this process greatly exceeded the successful ones. Crowley threw the novel into an old book basket in Aziraphale's dissatisfied eyes. "They must be confused, and not all white ones are angels. The crack in the ground is our style."

The angel shrugged.  
You must know that heaven and hell are definitely not the difference between day and night. Angels will also blow up other people's notebooks and throw the hangover leftovers (the many wine bottles that cannot be put into the trash bin) into the driveway of their 80-year-old neighbor. The devil is the one who teaches the elderly to install surveillance at their doorsteps, monitor their neighbors, ensure their own safety, and protect their rights.  
In addition, human beings once surpassed the range of evil that hell can reach. As time passed, the world only saw the destructive arrival of angels in heaven and talked about the God who never bluntly descended to the old man; as for hell, except for roads Xifa went to the land to search for his rebellious and unfilial son, which caused the ground cracking and other minor accidents without casualties. There seemed to be no sound.  
"We are not as good as others." Crowley took a Christmas hat made by an idle angel and skewed an apple from Adam's plate. "Take your father's experience in the twentieth century as an example. No. Once he descended on the Somme in 1916 and found that humans were better at playing with fire; the second time it descended in Spain during the Civil War, satiated Molotov’s cocktail; the third time he descended In a bomber in 1945, I found that it was more appropriate to talk to Godzilla; the fourth time was in 1976 when I was treated as my own by punk, got drunk in a bar, and brought people into Detroit in anger. ; The fifth time was in 1991, when the southern plantation owner was almost resurrected because of the black riots in Los Angeles."  
The devil paused: "Speaking of which, apart from the raging fire, hell is no different from the human world, and there are several places in humans, but even the devil can't stay."  
"How many places?" Adam swallowed a piece of cake. "Don't eat my apples anymore. Why do you also spend Christmas?"  
"Prisons, battlefields, etc. There are so many human tricks." Crowley dropped the fork in his hand and made a crisp sound on the plate. "I'm not celebrating Christmas. I'm celebrating the disintegration of the Soviet Union. Know that I can I spent several months in the Kremlin, and the political smears of major television stations spread rumors about parents and children."  
In fact, Crowley does celebrate Christmas every year, even when both Scotland and England declared Christmas illegal. Even when heaven gave up the reform of the republic that protects the country, he still insisted on hanging ivy at the door (in the end, he inexplicably received a commendation from hell after Cromwell's death). After he reached out to almost all TV broadcasters, the benefits of celebrating Christmas have gradually increased. The most typical one is watching Disney's 1964 business card "Perfect Nanny", which opened his cultural commissioner in the Regent’s Garden. Numerous conveniences provided by the villa nanny career.  
"You can speak Russian?"  
"I can drink." Crowley turned his fork into a trident. "You are not an adult, so you can't drink."

**Author's Note:**

> I think this translation is really terrible.😭  
> Cachu hwch!（is it spelled like this?i found it in the Staged.）


End file.
